{"componentChunkName":"component---src-templates-post-js","path":"/one-year/","result":{"data":{"ghostPost":{"id":"Ghost__Post__615f803fc80dde001c26340e","title":"One Year","slug":"one-year","featured":false,"feature_image":"https://res-4.cloudinary.com/hmnqyibcr/image/upload/q_auto/v1/ghost-blog-images/Ranger-BlueMonarch03.jpg","excerpt":"September 2, 2021 was the one year anniversary of Ranger's passing. In the\ncouple of months leading up to this anniversary I went through a difficult\npassage - one of reflection, disbelief, deep sadness and resurgence of many of\nmy early feelings in this grief journey.\n\nRanger, though, in his true fashion, made sure that we knew he was near to us on\nhis first Angel Day with some amazing signs that I will never ever forget.\nAlthough I felt a certain anxiety in the months leading up to the day, th","custom_excerpt":null,"visibility":"public","created_at_pretty":"07 October, 2021","published_at_pretty":"24 November, 2021","updated_at_pretty":"24 November, 2021","created_at":"2021-10-07T23:18:23.000+00:00","published_at":"2021-11-24T00:10:06.000+00:00","updated_at":"2021-11-24T00:16:20.000+00:00","meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"og_description":null,"og_image":null,"og_title":null,"twitter_description":null,"twitter_image":null,"twitter_title":null,"authors":[{"name":"Nicole Rose","slug":"nicole","bio":null,"profile_image":"//www.gravatar.com/avatar/f5247662fe91d90c51dae7c97bee6bf6?s=250&d=mm&r=x","twitter":null,"facebook":null,"website":null}],"primary_author":{"name":"Nicole Rose","slug":"nicole","bio":null,"profile_image":"//www.gravatar.com/avatar/f5247662fe91d90c51dae7c97bee6bf6?s=250&d=mm&r=x","twitter":null,"facebook":null,"website":null},"primary_tag":null,"tags":[],"plaintext":"September 2, 2021 was the one year anniversary of Ranger's passing. In the\ncouple of months leading up to this anniversary I went through a difficult\npassage - one of reflection, disbelief, deep sadness and resurgence of many of\nmy early feelings in this grief journey.\n\nRanger, though, in his true fashion, made sure that we knew he was near to us on\nhis first Angel Day with some amazing signs that I will never ever forget.\nAlthough I felt a certain anxiety in the months leading up to the day, the\nactual day of his anniversary felt light, joyful and almost normal.\n\nA week before his anniversary I rode my motorcycle out to Chicago, IL from\nNewton, NJ. I was scheduled to attend a motorcycle rally in the heart of Chicago\nand 'coincidentally', my project manager from work, Dave, and his wife were also\nholding a butterfly release ceremony for the victims of COVID-19 in their\ncommunity in that same weekend. I was asked by Dave if I would like to have a\nbutterfly released in memory of someone who had died this past year during the\npandemic - and I told him, yes, I would like to have a butterfly released in\nRanger's honor and memory.\n\nThe butterfly release ceremony was held in a park in the outskirts of Chicago.\nDave and his wife Tina run a non-profit, Angel Hooves Healing Hearts\n[https://angelhooveshealinghearts.org/], and their organization had organized\nthis event, as well as cultivating a good portion of the butterflies to be\nreleased that afternoon. Ranger's orange monarch butterfly was neatly pressed\ninto a cool parchment pouch. It was amazing to me that the butterfly could still\nbe alive flattened in this way - but I was assured that the butterfly that had\nbeen kept in a freezer up until the ceremony, would warm up and be ready to fly\naway once released from his tiny envelope. \n\nThe ceremony included moving words from a local pastor, and a video of all the\nvictims of COVID in the local community who were being honored that day. At the\nend of the video there was a montage of all the pets who had also passed away\nthis year, including my Ranger. There were 2 larger cages with butterflies in\nthem ready to be released after the video. The butterflies were released into\nthe hot Chicago afternoon by a 2-time Purple Heart Vietnam Veteran, and an Angel\nHooves volunteer - they ascended to the solemn sound of taps.\n\nEach of us in attendance then individually released our butterflies. I cried as\nRanger's butterfly finally escaped from the parchment and fluttered upwards and\naway.\n\nRanger's orange butterfly, in Chicago, in its parchment envelope.Releasing\nRanger's butterfly at the ceremony...The truly spectacular thing about this day\nwas that only an hour before the release I received some text messages from my\nboyfriend back in Newton, NJ saying he was having this extraordinary experience\nwith a blue monarch butterfly who had come into our campsite. He said the\nbutterfly retraced all of Ranger's steps around the campsite, went the shower\nwhere Ranger would bath every day, then to the spot on the gravel where Ranger\nwalked for the first time after being paralyzed for many weeks, and next to my\nsneakers by the chair were I would sit with Ranger for hours in our campsite.\nThis blue monarch butterfly stayed with my boyfriend in the campsite for 2\nhours. He has much of this amazing event on video. I don't have the ability to\nadd video on this blog, but have added photo stills from the video of the blue\nbutterfly here. \n\nAn hour before I release his Chicago butterfly, Ranger's blue butterfly comes to\nour campsite in New JerseyRanger's blue butterfly in the area where he would lay\non his pad.Ranger's blue butterfly spending time with my boyfriend near the\nshower.\n\nRanger's blue butterfly on my sneakers.\n\nA week before Ranger passed, a beautiful blue butterfly alighted before Ranger\nand I lying together in our campsite and stayed with us for 20 minutes - I knew\nseeing that butterfly then that I was receiving a sign. I was amazed, that\nnearly one year later - my boyfriend was visited again by the blue butterfly and\nthat it stayed with him for such an extraordinarily long time. My boyfriend told\nme after this experience that he now knew that these butterfly and insect signs\nI had been experiencing all year were truly real.\n\nAfter Ranger's orange butterfly being released in Chicago - wherever I rode,\ndrove or walked I would have an orange monarch butterfly fly beside me, in front\nof me, double back and make a beeline for me, hang out beside me for a while or\nfly up in front of my windshield. This went on for many weeks after his\nbutterfly was released.\n\nThe day before Ranger's first Angel Day we closed on the purchase of a house and\nfarm in Stillwater, NY. The timing of this closing did not escape me at all - we\nweren't supposed to close on this day, it was supposed to happen earlier. The\nfact that we closed the day before Ranger's anniversary let me know that Ranger\nwas a part of this. I knew deep in my heart that he was actively going to be\npart of this next chapter in our lives. In fact many orange butterflies were\naround us for weeks up at our new home, Ranger wanted us to know that he was\nhere with us in our new place.\n\nI miss Ranger physically every day, and there is something particularly hard\nabout the journey up to the one year anniversary. But I am convinced more and\nmore every day that Ranger's presence continues to be with us even though we can\nnot see him. The year anniversary was a threshold of sorts that I had to cross.\nIt was hard in the sense that the year signified a gulf between the life I\nshared with him when he was alive and the life with him in spirit that is my\n'new normal'. But it also signified something else - I was also a year further\nalong in my spiritual awareness of the other side and my ability to communicate\nwith Ranger and other souls who have passed on, I was a year further into\nengaging in the true purposes of my life, I was also all the more closer to\nseeing Ranger again when that time comes for me to cross over.\n\nOne of the orange butterflies in our new home that spent a morning with me while\nI was having my coffee.The orange butterfly, about to fly away, after sitting\nwith me for a half hour.I love you Ranger. I am so grateful for you in every\nway, and for your continued nearness to me. I am so blessed to take this ever\ndeepening journey with you into awareness and knowing of the dimension beyond\nthis physical one.","html":"

September 2, 2021 was the one year anniversary of Ranger's passing. In the couple of months leading up to this anniversary I went through a difficult passage - one of reflection, disbelief, deep sadness and resurgence of many of my early feelings in this grief journey.

Ranger, though, in his true fashion, made sure that we knew he was near to us on his first Angel Day with some amazing signs that I will never ever forget. Although I felt a certain anxiety in the months leading up to the day, the actual day of his anniversary felt light, joyful and almost normal.

A week before his anniversary I rode my motorcycle out to Chicago, IL from Newton, NJ. I was scheduled to attend a motorcycle rally in the heart of Chicago and 'coincidentally', my project manager from work, Dave, and his wife were also holding a butterfly release ceremony for the victims of COVID-19 in their community in that same weekend. I was asked by Dave if I would like to have a butterfly released in memory of someone who had died this past year during the pandemic - and I told him, yes, I would like to have a butterfly released in Ranger's honor and memory.

The butterfly release ceremony was held in a park in the outskirts of Chicago. Dave and his wife Tina run a non-profit, Angel Hooves Healing Hearts, and their organization had organized this event, as well as cultivating a good portion of the butterflies to be released that afternoon. Ranger's orange monarch butterfly was neatly pressed into a cool parchment pouch. It was amazing to me that the butterfly could still be alive flattened in this way - but I was assured that the butterfly that had been kept in a freezer up until the ceremony, would warm up and be ready to fly away once released from his tiny envelope.

The ceremony included moving words from a local pastor, and a video of all the victims of COVID in the local community who were being honored that day. At the end of the video there was a montage of all the pets who had also passed away this year, including my Ranger. There were 2 larger cages with butterflies in them ready to be released after the video. The butterflies were released into the hot Chicago afternoon by a 2-time Purple Heart Vietnam Veteran, and an Angel Hooves volunteer - they ascended to the solemn sound of taps.

Each of us in attendance then individually released our butterflies. I cried as Ranger's butterfly finally escaped from the parchment and fluttered upwards and away.

Ranger's orange butterfly, in Chicago, in its parchment envelope.
Releasing Ranger's butterfly at the ceremony...

The truly spectacular thing about this day was that only an hour before the release I received some text messages from my boyfriend back in Newton, NJ saying he was having this extraordinary experience with a blue monarch butterfly who had come into our campsite. He said the butterfly retraced all of Ranger's steps around the campsite, went the shower where Ranger would bath every day, then to the spot on the gravel where Ranger walked for the first time after being paralyzed for many weeks, and next to my sneakers by the chair were I would sit with Ranger for hours in our campsite. This blue monarch butterfly stayed with my boyfriend in the campsite for 2 hours. He has much of this amazing event on video. I don't have the ability to add video on this blog, but have added photo stills from the video of the blue butterfly here.

An hour before I release his Chicago butterfly, Ranger's blue butterfly comes to our campsite in New Jersey
Ranger's blue butterfly in the area where he would lay on his pad.
Ranger's blue butterfly spending time with my boyfriend near the shower.

Ranger's blue butterfly on my sneakers.

A week before Ranger passed, a beautiful blue butterfly alighted before Ranger and I lying together in our campsite and stayed with us for 20 minutes - I knew seeing that butterfly then that I was receiving a sign. I was amazed, that nearly one year later - my boyfriend was visited again by the blue butterfly and that it stayed with him for such an extraordinarily long time. My boyfriend told me after this experience that he now knew that these butterfly and insect signs I had been experiencing all year were truly real.

After Ranger's orange butterfly being released in Chicago - wherever I rode, drove or walked I would have an orange monarch butterfly fly beside me, in front of me, double back and make a beeline for me, hang out beside me for a while or fly up in front of my windshield. This went on for many weeks after his butterfly was released.

The day before Ranger's first Angel Day we closed on the purchase of a house and farm in Stillwater, NY. The timing of this closing did not escape me at all - we weren't supposed to close on this day, it was supposed to happen earlier. The fact that we closed the day before Ranger's anniversary let me know that Ranger was a part of this. I knew deep in my heart that he was actively going to be part of this next chapter in our lives. In fact many orange butterflies were around us for weeks up at our new home, Ranger wanted us to know that he was here with us in our new place.

I miss Ranger physically every day, and there is something particularly hard about the journey up to the one year anniversary. But I am convinced more and more every day that Ranger's presence continues to be with us even though we can not see him. The year anniversary was a threshold of sorts that I had to cross. It was hard in the sense that the year signified a gulf between the life I shared with him when he was alive and the life with him in spirit that is my 'new normal'. But it also signified something else - I was also a year further along in my spiritual awareness of the other side and my ability to communicate with Ranger and other souls who have passed on, I was a year further into engaging in the true purposes of my life, I was also all the more closer to seeing Ranger again when that time comes for me to cross over.

One of the orange butterflies in our new home that spent a morning with me while I was having my coffee.
The orange butterfly, about to fly away, after sitting with me for a half hour.

I love you Ranger. I am so grateful for you in every way, and for your continued nearness to me. I am so blessed to take this ever deepening journey with you into awareness and knowing of the dimension beyond this physical one.

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